A Fantasy Fan’s Epiphany

Or, Why A Song of Ice and Fire really isn’t that good

There are certain opinions that you cannot hold in society without receiving a tangible amount of backlash from your near and dear ones. Yet even people who have come to terms with my unorthodox views on eating, babies and the other myriad topics I choose to have an opinion on, balk at the caustic disregard I show towards a certain popular series. But here’s the deal, guys, I’ll just come out and say it. Game of Thrones (or A Song of Ice and Fire to purists, or snobs, depending on which side you’re on) isn’t really a good fantasy series.

 

Before we start on the meat of my arguments, let us get some definitions which I will be using out of the way. If you feel like you already know this, feel free to skip to the next paragraph. Go on. I won’t mind. To the rest of you, hello! Glad you stuck around! Don’t worry, it won’t be boring. I promise. To start off, let me put to you the question, what exactly is fantasy? A generally accepted definition would be, fantasy is a sub-genre of speculative fiction (that is fiction where you make up even more stuff than your average store-bought realistic fiction), set in an imaginary universe. It does not need to be as scary as horror, or as scientifically plausible as science fiction, which are the two main sub-genres it has to share space with under the speculative fiction heading. Now as you can see, imaginary universe is a pretty vague term, and in fact, it is quite easy to argue that anything is fantasy. Next time you want to freak out your pretentious literary friend, tell them that technically the most famous fantasy writer is not Tolkien, but Shakespeare (seriously, have you read A Midsummer Night’s Dream? Or The Tempest?). So given the vagueness of the definitions, how exactly would you characterise a work as good fantasy?

For a work to be a good fantasy, as opposed to a realistic work with fantasy tagged on to it as a background feature, the fantastical elements must add to the story. Do these elements need to always be supernatural? Not necessarily. If you want to read a fantasy story without any magic involved whatsoever, and have no clue how that is even possible, I urge you to read The Cambist and Lord Iron by Daniel Abraham (I’m feeling generous, so here). Abraham creates a fantastical atmosphere throughout the entire short story without a hint of anything supernatural involved. It is not a world where brooms fly out of windows or dragons lurk in mountain caves, but they just might, and you’d not be surprised if they did, even though they categorically do not. That is the magic, as it were, of fantasy, it’s a place where anything can happen.

Of course, achieving this is easier said than done, and to do it well for a large series instead of a novella or a short story, authors have to extensively use worldbuilding. Worldbuilding is, as the name suggests, structuring the world in which your story unfolds. Because the world of the story is, by definition, imaginary, authors need to give added effort to making it seem like a fleshed out three dimensional reality, by peppering minute details around the plot. Chocolate Frogs and Bertie Botts’ Every Flavour Beans is worldbuilding, as is Quenya, Dothraki, and Klingon. Worldbuilding is important to fantasy fans, and this is one of my major gripes with George R. R. Martin. Martin does not so much build his world as take things from our world and just change their names. The Dothraki are a race of warlike brutal nomads heavily invested in their horses. Uh, you mean Mongols? The Faith of the Seven is a dominant organised religion involving the worship of the seven aspects of a single deity. Like Christianity and the Holy Trinity? The Targaryens invade Westeros from the larger continent of Essos, which is separated by a narrow sea, sweeping over all of the fragmented kingdoms of the island and building a consolidated state, with wide-ranging socio-cultural impacts. Umm, so, William the Conqueror, basically? Trust me, the list goes on, and it wreaks havoc with my suspension of disbelief, because there is always a thread pulling me back to the real world.

Of course, you might say you don’t really care about worldbuilding (and yes, sometimes it is too much of a good thing), that’s just for pedantic nerds, and I understand completely where you are coming from (while giving you nasty looks for calling me a pedantic nerd). There are many books which are quite terrible when judged as fantasies but great when judged by other measures. One of my favourite past-times is to rile people by saying Harry Potter is a terrible fantasy story, before conceding that it is one of the best YA fiction I have ever read. The same holds true for Game of Thrones. The point is not the fantasy, it’s the intrigue and the machinations. Of course. It’s not even a fantasy story to begin with, it’s a political thriller.

And that is an acceptable view as well, except it’s really not that good even then. I’m not sure if you have noticed (spoiler alerts, just in case), but people tend to die a lot in Game of Thrones. So much so that it has really become predictable at this point of time. Whenever a character becomes powerful enough to actually resolve some of the conflict, whoops, they’re dead. If you read closely enough, you could see the Red Wedding coming from miles ahead (alas, if only Robb Stark had enough awareness for some fourth wall breaking). This is Martin’s biggest flaw, how he can never resolve an arc with anything but death. Joffrey looks like he can finally consolidate his rule, choke him. Robb finally brings about a coherent opposition, behead him. Renly finally makes an alliance with the Starks, stab him. The list goes on and on. The deaths become way too convenient and predictable. The plots never have a falling action, a tying of knots, all the build-up is always, always ended abruptly and the next arc is started. And that, folks, is why Game of Thrones kinda sucks. At least for me.

This, of course, is my opinion. If you disagree, I’d be happy to hear your arguments. Also, if you find yourself enjoying Game of Thrones in spite of all this, I’m really glad for you. And if you want to explore further, there is a huge vista of interesting, lyrical and drop-dead beautiful works out there. Let Game of Thrones be the beginning of your adventure, and not the end. And, remember, this is fantasy, so really, anything can happen.

—Korak Ray

The Day After Christmas

                                         Just spreading the cheer. Okay not really.

 

So, hello there. Today is <insert title here>, and keeping up with tradition (which we’re starting now) we have for you a boxing day surprise.

Surprise!

Well, the surprise was the blog post itself.

 

Sorry, just had to put that gif in somewhere.

 

Anyway, to start off, here’s a personal favourite – The Chipmunk Song. Perhaps more suited for the days leading up to christmas. But hey, 365 days left to the next one. Have it running in the background while you read the rest of this piece.

 

Back in the summer, we showed you how crazy comics could get with their stories. For a quick refresher, click here

 

We’re doing something like that this time too.

 

Only today IS the day after Christmas.

 

So, brace yourselves, for Father Christmas/Optimus Prime

 

I’ll admit it is a nice idea. A step away from all the violence and betrayal. But sometimes it goes too far. Like this –

Come on. Surely the Autobots AND the Decepticons decorating a transformer-sized christmas tree is stretching things a bit.

But they haven’t really stopped. Even just this year, this is what they release –

Sheesh.

Anyway, moving on.

We’re guessing some of you have seen He-Man. And some of those people might have heard of She-Ra (Not to be confused with Sheera, which is actually quite delicious). But guess what.

There’s a He-Man and She-Ra Christmas special, and it looks like this –

Skeletor decorated his Castle, and is taken over by the Christmas Spirit, and does good things and distributes gifts to kids. Yeah. Sure. Definitely. Because this will definitely make any kid’s day.

Forgive us for sounding overly cynical, but this is all leading up to something.

The Mother of all Christmas Specials.

And guess who it involves.

So Superman dresses up as a Super-Santa and tries to cheer up an upset child the way only a Santa can do. Only Batman gets there in between and chides him for acting childish and making superheroes look silly. So an embarrassed Superman takes off the Santa embellishments and decides to give the gifts to the kid anyway.

But as he enters his house,

Talk about a plot twist.

Supes does get very pissed, and proceeds to smash Batman in the face.

There’s an awesome reason and premise for a Batman vs Superman Movie if I ever saw one.

And if that wasn’t enough hyped already, what if we had an epic clash

Batman v Superman v Santa

-The time for Nice is gone. The time for Naughty, is now.

Well it hasn’t happened yet. But there’s one comics author who has written a really in depth answer on who would win of such a battle were to take place.

No points for guessing.

You can read the full article here 

Well. Now that we’ve firmly established that Santa is boss, we’ll leave with what we think is another christmas classic.

With a blanket and a cup of Hot Chocolate, click here.

Well, that’s all for now. Until next time, be nice, and

God rest ye merry, Hippogriffs…

Cheerio.

 

On First Lines, Last Lines and Second Chances

                           

“It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents — except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.”

— Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, Paul Clifford (1830)

 

Well Hello.

 

First lines of novels arguably get a lot more attention than they deserve. Maybe because that’s how far most people get with a lot of books. Seriously, try going beyond “ riverrun, past Eve and Adam’s, from swerve of shore to bend of bay, brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to Howth Castle and Environs.” Give Up.

 

The bloke above, Bulwer-Lytton, he was the same guy who first coined the “The Pen is Mightier than the Sword” wala line. And what better way to remember him than a yearly contest that awards the most mind numbingly pointless and boring first lines you can invent, For example, this year’s winner –

 

“Seeing how the victim’s body, or what remained of it, was wedged between the grill of the Peterbilt 389 and the bumper of the 2008 Cadillac Escalade EXT, officer “Dirk” Dirksen wondered why reporters always used the phrase “sandwiched” to describe such a scene since there was nothing appetizing about it, but still, he thought, they might have a point because some of this would probably end up on the front of his shirt. —”

Joel Phillips, West Trenton, NJ

 

Pen is mightier anyday, I’m dying already. For the entire list of winners, if you think you can survive, click here.

 

No actually, here.

 

But that’s not the point of this piece. Because in a random spree of lyrics-writing, spurred on by this video

(No I most certainly won’t put up my attempt here), a metaphorical bad apple hit my head.

 

Look what happens when Kendrick Lamar meets George Orwell for a song-writing collab –

 

It was a bright, cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen

And if you hard then wreck your car and walk up to my crime scene

(1984 and “Ignorance is Bliss”)

 

And then maybe Lewis Carroll?

 

Twas brillig and the slythy toves

Wayne told me that, and that’s just how it goes

(“Jabberwocky” and “Michael Jordan”)

 

There’s a whole host of these first line-rap mashups over here

 

It’s using a lyrics writing program online called RapPad (not meant to rhyme with the thappad), which is pretty cool. No, really.

 

Continuing with mashups, ever wondered what it’d be like to mix the first line of one book and the last line of another? Well, people have done that, and some of the results are awesome –

The way I figure it, everyone gets a miracle. The knife came down, missing him by inches, and he took off.

Paper Towns + Catch-22

Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. No way has yet been invented to say goodbye to them.

Anna Karenina and The Long Goodbye

There’s a hashtag for this kind of stuff (#firstlinelastline), and twitter users have gone crazy with it.

 

And one more, slightly spoiler laden first line perversion –

What if GRRM got his hands on some of the most famous closing lines of literature?

Putting the least dangerous ones (spoiler wise) here, for the rest, check the link below (after the lines of course)

1984

Cersei loved her little brother

Harry Potter

His scars and what little remained of his limbs had pained <SPOILER> for nineteen winters. All was hell.

Click here for more (some are golden)

Well, that’s it for this one. But you know what, try cooking up some mashups of your own, with lines and lyrics and stories, whatever, and comment them below. That sort of thing used to happen here, and forgive me for sounding despo, but I’d really like if it if we could try once more. <insert appropriate funny image/self disparaging meme>

 

Ta ta for now.

 

The Ultimate Arbit Article

Well, we with our saner selves over at GBL, have decided to collab for a change. So they do their thing, we do ours, only on slightly similar topics.

So first up, Here is your definitive guide to all things Marvel –

We promised we’d tell you how Marvel plans to take over the world. But we didn’t tell you that we’d explain it. Go figure.

Also, the above represents everything until the end of Marvel Phase three. For a glimpse of what lies ahead, you need only click on the link below –

The link Below.

Now, many people might have at some point wondered why there haven’t been any X Men – Fantastic Four – Avengers crossovers yet. After all, they are all best buddies in the comics. For a nice visual answer to that question, look below –

This also explains why Marvel is stupid, while 20th Century Fox is awesome. Watch this – HISHE_Avengers_Part_2

I mean seriously, why didn’t Quicksilver do that in AoU? Why waste a perfectly awesome character like that? Just because GRRM does shit like that and it works, doesn’t mean you do too!

Seriously though, if you want to binge watch something short, epically funny, and in general awesome, do watch the HISHE series. Too good.

Now for a random observation I made, whilst watching The Devil wears Prada a few nights ago.

Emily Blunt

Was initially the director’s first choice to play

She declined, for reasons unknown. ( Thank God )

Then she was the first choice to play

Again, for some godforsaken reason, she said no. (Phew)

Both jobs a million girls would kill for. Nuff said.

Now, she is the top contender to play

Captain Marvel. Go Emily!

Another absolutely random point –

This guy, Happy Hogan from the movies,

Is actually the director for all the Iron Man Movies till date, Jon Favreau.

(Which would be pretty cool to know, if you didn’t already )

How about another arbit DC burn.

Take a look at this poster. DC making the great grandmother of formulaic movie series. (You can’t blame them, Dawn of Justice is looking pretty good right now..)

Electric Boogaloo. Epic that.

Something genuinely electrifying, would be this

Dunno if they’re getting Ewan McGregor back for said Kenobi spin-off. Though for an arbit tangential, don’t you think this sums up one of the main plot lines in the six movies so far quite nicely?

I think it does.

And now as a parting gift, here is a super-secret leaked concept video for the most emotional Chris Pratt scene in Guardians of the Galaxy Volume II (After he realises that the collector is his father? Maybe.. )

Chris Pratt Gut Wrenching concept scene from Guardians 3000.

Cheerio.

Muginn and Huginn. Wait, that can’t be right..

Hallo There. About the title, well long story. I was reading the old posts on WBiLA, desperately searching for some inspiration. And one of the posts last winter was titled “Huginn and Muninn”. The two of them are ravens, official spy/informants for Odin, and they literally mean Thought and Memory( And are of course important ).Okay, so it just so happened that we were reading up on Marvel’s attempt to take over the world (more on that maybe later), so I did some superficial digging and found that Huginn and Muninn have already featured in the comics and the cinematic universe. For example in the movies, they have been spotted

Here –

And Here-

Now after a not so long period of Google drifting, I found this one Thor comics issue. I read it, and was filled with the sudden demonic desire to tell the story to the first person I meet (a la Mariner), sorry if that happens to be you.  I fear I digress wildly, but in this case that is the intention. The way you look at Marvel will never be the same.

(The rest of the post contains spoilers for The Mighty Thor – Vol 364 and a few subsequent issues as well. Though if you truly are on a track in life where this spoiler actually spoils something, I salute you.)

Simon Walterson an aspiring college football player, had a career ending Knee injury (see below),

and fell into depression.

He found a new lease of life working with his wife for charity, but when his wife passed away, taking their unborn child with her, he lost it. Desperation took hold, and he sought out a Magical Witch so that he could converse with their spirits in the underworld. He did (but like Cadmus, I don’t think he was too pleased), but what sucked was he didn’t have enough to pay the witch for services rendered. And so like any self-respecting witch (there are many), she turned poor Simon into a frog and left him Central Park (Yes, New York). He was renamed Puddlegulp, and you can see him chilling with his clan below.

(Ma Homies. One thing I will never understand is what the color artist was thinking when he colored this one.)

So far I probably have been stretching the limits of digression, but wait. This is the part where the creative heads at Marvel really earn their paycheck. (Scroll down slowly for increased effect)

Puddlegulp helps the king of the frogs fight a war against the Rats ( led by the terrifying Ratso ), and wins. And one night while randomly waltzing down the sewers, he was attacked by a renegade rat. And guess who saves him.

(“Possibly the most unusual Thor story ever published”, they say.. “Earth’s Mightiest Heroes” they say.. No shit.)

Okay so Thor’s a frog, but He is a god, so he beats the rat. Puddlegulp and Thor then meet the king, go to the tribe of Alligators, and strike an alliance with them. A couple of battles take place, and then Thor’s body is captured by, *drumroll* the Piper (Yes, that Piper). Lots of random shit ensues, a notable piece of which is when a band of Morlocks ( you read me right ) attack Central Park and Thor (still frog) picks up his hammer and becomes Thor thor. Now in the fight, a sliver of Thor’s hammer breaks apart, and Puddlegulp picks it up ( The frog is worthy! ), takes it to a scary goat ( see below ) and,

(This is a legit panel from the comics. I kid you not)

Forges his hammer.

So Puddlegulp is now Frog Thor, A.K.A Throg ( Why Marvel, Why?). The Mighty Throg who wields the mighty hammer of Frogjolnir ( again, I’m dead serious ), and has a telepathic connection with Thor.

In short, Thor has a pet frog. He named it Throg, and gave it a matching suit and hammer.

Puddlegulp’s friends at Central Park would have been proud.

The success ( success? ) of this series led to the creation of the Pet Avengers.

(Looks cool, I’ll admit, if it weren’t for the story..)

I’ll summarise that in one long line – Pet avengers save candy store, Avengers be happy, Fing Fang Foom turns up and swallows everyone except Kitty Pryde’s ( Shadowcat ) pet dragon Lockheed ( Dragon must not eat Dragon – First Law of Dragons ), the End.

Epic success that.

Now think of all this in a movie. Maybe 27 years from now, but it sure is possible. Maybe at that time we wouldn’t really care. Marvel would already have conquered the world. Eradicated the cult of the DC priests. Their words or more accurately movies, would be law. Stan Lee our Muad’Dib.

Well, there really is nothing left to say.

No Loki, Thor may be your brother (oh wait, he isn’t), but

That’s all for now.

Oh Maggi Mae (more or less)

/*

Edit – This article was written yesterday, though due to usual levels of procrastination, it is being posted now. At this point, Nestle has pulled Maggi from all stores themselves. Nothing we can do about that, just assume you were reading this on the 4th of June, 2015. Much Appreciated.

Also, the images are more than just images, though you may already know that.

*/

Q.42

In the given Synthesis, it is known that reagent A and B both do not respond to Tollen’s test (or maybe they do, who would know?). Moreover, X and Y combined can undergo the Nicholas de Mimsy Porpington reaction to form a unique compound XY whose properties you can’t possibly know. It is also known that XY has a half life of a few billion years, but that can be changed by accelerating particles in a toroidal chamber to near the speed of light. Naturally, time travel and relativity effects need to be considered, but ditch. We have also provided a graph showing the rate of the Madecon o’Mist inversion reaction of reagents X and Y with vibranium dioxide.

Graph: ( A-P and B-Q )-

 

Now that we have bestowed upon you all the necessary knowledge to answer the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything, what we are about to ask would obviously be a piece of fairy cake (or in it, I’m not too sure…)

 

Which of the following compounds correctly represents Z?

(A)

(B)

(C)

(D) Mg2Mg5Si8O22(OH)2

Well, now that you have committed and bubbled the bubble, Here is the answer.

 

(C) Mono Sodium Glutamate

(Apologies for Option B, apparently the compound is called Bastardane…)

If you’re wondering why we had to inflict such pain on our readers (we are truly sorry for bringing any JEE nightmares back to life), apparently MSG is in Maggi.

(MSG be like “There! Gotcha!” )

The last few days have seen this massive Hullaballoo over there being increased MSG and Lead content beyond permissible amounts in Maggi. States are banning it, parents are shunning it, and students stoically appear on national television, vowing to never eat maggi, while creating massive stockpiles of it in their rooms, fearing the worst. And what is the worst that could happen here? Well, no more maggi for a long time. And how does that affect us?

Like This.

Okay, that was just the start. The implications of such a step being taken are far worse.

The sad part is, MSG manages to sneak into our body in dozens of other ways. Chinese food, Doritos, Pringles, even a few vegetables have far, far more MSG content than what’s been detected in Maggi. And no matter what health savants say, there is no proof that it’s bad for you. Stopping maggi production to safeguard public health is a lot like only telling Samsung to stop making any sort of cellular devices because they pose a serious threat to health and can cause cancer. We’ve been using cell phones for a long time, there are millions of other mobile phones and ways we could get cancer, and most of us just don’t give a damn. Lead is another thing entirely, but in Maggi’s defence, it’s not like Pingo Doce sweet drop soda was banned in the US for killing Stan Lee with Gamma exposure (was it? I guess multiple interpretations are allowed, so let’s just say it wasn’t).

Everyone knew they only needed to wait for the next Marvel movie for him to come back to life (and he drinks Asgardian wine in Age of Ultron? When will he ever learn?). All we need to do is find the employee or employees in various maggi manufacturing plants who happen to have the amazing power of… okay not sure, but it has something to do with lead. And once they stunningly escape in the middle of a populated city, all will be forgotten in a haze of… again not sure, maybe masala?

Anyways, us folks in insti needn’t worry too much. The higher-ups in Maharashtra and Goa have okayed Maggi, saying they didn’t find any reason to worry cause it was standard quality food. Yippee!!  (not the other instant noodle-abomination). But then again, With Maharashtra banning beef and Goa almost banning EDM festivals on beaches (they really are considering it), there may be reason to question their judgement.

There is also concern expressed over how this may affect the thousands who claim culinary prowess because they can cook this two-minute wonder.

If a nation-wide ban does come into force, it will change millions of lives. Just like Maggi has over the last couple of decades. We will have little choice but to live off our stockpiles while stocks last, and then sing sad songs in memory of better days, or nights, more like. Maybe like this one –

(Ode to empty stomachs – Maggi (Do minute me) by The WBiLAtles (pronounced –  weebee’la’tles , ‘la’ as in “a note to follow ‘so’ .”))

Boo Hoo.

(P.S. How come no Pokemon Fans?)

PokeRebi – Random Rebuses connected by Pokemon

Hey There!

Here’s another post where you need to figure stuff out and answer in the comments. A few fun rebuses, all with a Pokemon or two in them. I’ve only included ones from the first season (except one, but then, why not?) so anyone who’s ever watched the show should be able to answer. Knock yourselves out.

1-

2-

3-

4-

5-

6-

7-

 

8-

 

9-

 

 

Do try, it’s not as bad as it looks.

 

 

 

Minimalist Posters

Hello there!

Have you been fascinated by those minimalist posters that seem to eschew all attempts at aesthetics and go for the jugular: the obvious materiality that everything can be simplified to?

By now you’ve probably seen way more than your fair share of stuff like that. From album art to Insti publi, minimalist posters have become one of the most popular ways to get any idea across. Well, it’s not really a new phenomena; the minimalist concept can be traced back to as early as the early twentieth century in the form of propaganda art. Apparently, it all started off with this one:

(Red Wedge by Lazar Markovich Lissitzky)

No idea what it was for, but I guess it looks cool.
Also, Saul Bass is widely considered to be the godfather of the movement, specifically the ‘less is more’ school of thought and a lot of his work is still used in posters we see today.

(The Saul Bass Vertigo poster that people cite as a graphical masterpiece.)

Before you start wondering, no, this is not a history lesson.

All you don’t really need to know is that: It was a bunch of artists deciding to go all hipster-ish and make art that looks overly simplified but is not.

The rest of this article is filled with minimalist posters for movies/songs/books/other stuff, so feel free to guess as you go along. Answers at the end of the piece.

 

I) MINIMALIST HISTORIES

One poster has been done as an example. Try and guess the rest. (Click on the image to zoom it in)

1.  
2. 
3. 
4. 
5. 
6. 

 

II) SONGS

“An example!”, you say?…Well here it is.

This will obviously be a minimalist poster for

Now try and get the rest.

1. 
2. 
3. 
4. 
5. 
6. 
7. 
8. 
9. 
10. 

 

III)  ARBIT

Okay since these are completely random, giving an example would serve no purpose, (and I’m lazy) so let’s jump right in.

1. 
2. 
3. 
4. 
5. 
6. 
7. 
8. 
9. 

 

IV)  BOOKS AND MOVIES

1. 
2. 
3. 
4. 
5. 
6. 
7. 
8. 
9. 

Okay, kids, here are the answers:-

I MINIMALIST HISTORIES

1. Napoleon
2. Jesus
3. Bruce Lee
4. Michael Jackson
5. Adolf Hitler
6. Julius Caesar

II SONGS

1. Wake Me Up When September Ends by Green Day
2. Rolling In the Deep by Adele
3. Hotel California by Eagles
4. Mambo No. 5 by Lou Bega
5. The Sounds of Silence by Simon and Garfunkel
6. Sex on Fire by Kings of Leon
7. Losing My Religion by R.E.M
8. Oops!…I did it again by Britney Spears
9. Waiting on the World to Change by John Mayer
10. With or without you by U2

III Arbit (Alright…I’ll admit it was mostly TV series and anime)

1. Halo-Combat Evolved
2. Doctor Who (I think, the easiest one so far)
3. Community
4. Dragonball Z (no wait-a-mintue, scratch what I said above)
5. Breaking Bad
6. Mass Effect
7. Avatar-The Last Airbender
8. Darker Than Black
9. Death Note

IV Books and Movies

1. The Theory of Everything
2. Fight Club
3. The Book Thief
4. Anne of Green Gables
5. 2001: A Space Odyssey
6. Paper Towns
7. Jurrasic Park
8. Lord of the Rings
9. The Da Vinci Code

10 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Star Wars

Happy Star Wars Day! It’s that day of the year again, where Star Wars fans collectively crack the same pun (“May the Fourth be with you”). While this day has become an annual tradition for fanatics, here are some things you probably did not know about the Star Wars universe (Warning: Major spoilers below):

 

1. NSYNC Were Almost Cast in ‘Attack of the Clones’

Pretty indicative of the standards of the prequel trilogy, ‘Attack of the Clones’ was set to have the boy band NSYNC as background extras during the Battle of Geonosis. The NSYNC members were huge fans of the Star Wars, and were cast as Jedi Knights during the climactic final battle (Justin Timberlake couldn’t make the shooting date, and was never heard of again). However, when word of their cameo broke, there was a huge uproar from Star Wars fans, ultimately prompting George Lucas to cut their scenes. Things didn’t end well for either party. ‘Attack of the Clones’ wasn’t much better than the terrible ‘The Phantom Menace’, whereas NSYNC entered a hiatus (ending in a breakup) a few months after shooting their cameo.

 

2. Star Wars Ultimately Made James Cameron’s Career

Apart from defining the childhood of millions of American kids, Star Wars also inspired James Cameron to take up filmmaking seriously. Cameron had studied physics at college, and ended up working as a truckdriver in 1977. Everything changed when he watched Star Wars that year, though, when Cameron decided to dedicate himself to directing movies. So thank you, George Lucas. Not only did you give us the prequel trilogy, you also gave us Piranha II: The Spawning (along with a good film or two in between).

 

3. Hardly Anyone Knew About the Iconic Twist in ‘Empire’

Lucas was paranoid about Darth Vader’s revelation in ‘The Empire Strikes Back’ (“Luke, I am your father”). To ensure that the twist wasn’t leaked, the iconic scene was shot with Vader saying “Obi-Wan killed your father”, and dubbed “I am your father” just prior to the film’s release. Only the screenwriters, Lucas, director Irvin Kershner, and Mark Hamill and James Earl Jones knew about the real twist.

 

4. George Lucas’s Hands are on the ‘Return of the Jedi’ Poster

 

George Lucas chose to play out his Jedi fantasy in the poster for ‘Return of the Jedi’. His hands are holding the lightsaber in the poster.

 

5. The Opening Scroll in ‘A New Hope’ was Written by Brian de Palma

 

The scrolling words that open each Star Wars film were intended as a homage to the Flash Gordon serials of the thirties, which started in a similar way. Lucas was helped by Brian De Palma, director of crime classic Scarface, who saw the first, endless draft and said, “You’re out of your mind… Let me write this for you”. Editing it right down, De Palma played a key role in introducing Star Wars to millions across the world.

 

6. Harrison Ford was Not In Line to Play Han Solo…Till He Was

Ford, who had earlier worked with Lucas in ‘American Graffiti’, was asked to read the role while screen-testing other actors, while Lucas planned to have a fresh face for the part of Han. Actors considered for the role of Han Solo included Burt Reynolds, Christopher Walken, Al Pacino, Jack Nicholson, Kurt Russell and Nick Nolte. However, after a few readings, Lucas realized that he had found his perfect Han Solo, and Ford was subsequently cast.

 

7. Marvel Secretly Cuts Off Hands in a Tribute to Star Wars

A running Easter Egg in Marvel’s Phase II movies is the cutting of hands of various characters, in tribute to Star Wars. Across the six movies, hands were chopped off a total of 13 times, including three times for Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader(!) and the iconic scene where Vader severs his own son’s hand (followed by the iconic “I am your father”). Here are the individual tributes:

• Groot’s hands being severed in ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’
• Loki cutting off Thor’s hand in ‘Thor: The Dark World’
• Bucky Barnes, who is shown with a bionic arm in ‘The Winter Soldier’, after he lost his arm in the fall in the first movie
• Tony Stark cuts off Aldridge Killian’s arm in the climax of ‘Iron Man 3’

 

8. ‘Star Wars’ Wasn’t Always the Title of the first Movie

Its original title was “Adventures of Luke Starkiller as taken from the Journal of the Whills, Saga I: The Star Wars”. It was eventually shortened. And that’s right, Luke Skywalker was originally Luke Starkiller. ‘Nuff said.

 

9. R2-D2 is named after a piece of film editor’s jargon.

Sound editor Walter Murch states that he is responsible for the utterance which sparked the name for the droid. Murch asked for Reel 2, Dialog Track 2, in the abbreviated form “R-2-D-2”. Lucas, who was in the room and had dozed off while working on the script for Star Wars, momentarily woke when he heard the request and, after asking for clarification, stated that it was a “great name” before falling immediately back to sleep.

 

 

10. The Lightsaber Noise Comes from a Television’s Hum

The noise a lightsaber makes is created by combining the hum of an old television picture tube and the buzz of a film projector’s motor. As sound director Ben Burtt put it, “I was carrying a microphone across the room when the microphone passed a television set which was on the floor which was on without the sound turned up, but the microphone passed right behind the picture tube and as it did, this particular produced an unusual hum. It picked up a transmission from the television set and a signal was induced into it’s sound reproducing mechanism, and that was a great buzz, actually.  So I took that buzz and recorded it and combined it with the projector motor sound and that fifty-fifty kind of combination of those two sounds became the basic lightsaber tone.” Happy accident, eh?

 

By

Tejas Srinivasan

 

 

Huginn and Muninn

Thought and Memory are of course important.

He who does not think or remember cannot be said to be truly sane.

Enter a room or a quiet antechamber.

 

Know that the room bears history and is filled with passing thoughts.

Every person who has been there.

You can feel them Everywhere.

 

I fear I digress wildly.

So, let us return to more scholarly pursuits.

 

The text as a test of observation

Hiding in the heads of each line

Every letter in its place

 

Grinning at the livid faces

Acrostics make for terrible rhymes

Me, I’m but a poor traveller

Ending before I even began

 

 

Now that that terrible parody of Keats is complete, hello! This blog has been mired in terrible threats, basements with spotty WiFi and the usual throttling weeds of real life. However, one must forage onwards, for the game is forever afoot.

 

The message may be hidden, but I’m sure such capable scholars as yourself are capable of deciphering it. Speaking of secret messages, cryptography is a most engaging venture, especially for those lovers of letters and cloak-and-dagger intrigue.

One of the most fun types of ciphers is something called a Vigenere cipher. Properly used, a Vigenere cipher can be very effective, assuming no one else knows your key. A cool tool to help you encipher and decipher messages can be found here.

 

For those who are enthusiasts of the game, here’s a quirky little sample:

 

ipzelariq arge akrcif llg bpnywspq
hy ugqrjdmwfxu ga ygm gcl mesv xjgn
pdweuc mehdc kl ohw usokznlk yugig lzi uyhe cwc
oyt tzw snb bovk epb ohw fiy zz wall ac

 

 

And remember kids, you can’t play if you don’t know the name of the game.

 

Cheerios!